Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Am I doing the right thing?


I look at this face and keep asking myself "Am I doing the right thing?"

Today is Day 2 of creche.

Just like I did yesterday, this morning I called the creche to see how Imogen went settling in. The answer was a tad guarded, so I knew it was probably worse than they explained but none the less the answer was still horrible. After a fantastic start yesterday, Imogen must have clicked that Daddy's going and not coming back for AGES and she to say she wasn't happy about it was an understatement. She flat tick screamed for 20 minutes. I know her, by 5 minutes of flat stick scream she is usually out of control so I cannot even begin to imagine her doing it for 20 minutes. Then for the next 40 minutes she sobbed. Again I know her and I know when she gets to the sobbing point it's totally game over and it will take her forever to calm down.

I swear a little piece of me broke when she told me that. I wanted to throw my job in right then and there. The thought of my baby crying hysterically for me and her Daddy and us not being there just tears through me. Again I'm asking myself if I'm doing the right thing, how can it be worth it? They said she was great for the rest of the day though, but it doesn't really make me feel any better.

Tomorrow I'm not going to call. I just can't. I'll make Brian do it.

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